Time for NS!

Finally its my turn to enlist for NS.

Am gonna grit my teeth, clench my fist, and tell myself i'll be fine :)

什么时候叫够了？因为每个人的忍耐度都有限。

Thought.

Had a run just now. Was a real good sweatout!

At times i get very judgemental. I dont get why people always like to talk about looking forward to future events. It just gives me a feeling the person is just living for the sake of living in the present. When i planned for my trip overseas, i dont mention about looking forward to the trip and stuffs. I still need to continue doing my present work well before i go for the trip.

For now, living in the present is the main aim for me. Really nobody knows what is going to happen in future. My friend told me i dont seem like a person who can settle down. What she said might be true. Perhaps i'll only find my soulmate in the early thirties? Thats 10 years from now at least. A lot of things can happen in 10 years. Rather then waiting for these 10 years to pass, i might as well live better as a person and make myself a better person to anyone as times go by.

Just a thought ...

Refuel n Go!

Gosh, two months since i last posted.

Just got done reading the papers for today. Life is weird at times. Was planning for a solo trip before i  enlist in November. Somehow diferent thoughts pop out at different times for the past 2 weeks, questioning myself where do i really want to go and how much budget am i going to allocate for it. On and off a few locations were shortlisted. Just want to get a location settled and let the other things fall into place.

Thinking of this, we are really lucky. Being able to grow up in Singapore and given education. Imagine without education, we know nuts about computers and languages. No way we can plan on going anywhere. Plus we get the chance to work and able to use part of the money to do something we want, for me is to travel. Of course i have other things i want to spend my money on. But there always comes moderation and balance. As we grow, our needs and wants will differ, mostly demanding a higher standard of living. At times, i constantly remind myself that i have endless things to buy. That's why i have to always consider very long before i decide on something. Money is really hard earned.

It brings me to another issue which is to work for money. I dislike the idea of working for money. Working is just not about getting the money itself. Its about learning different stuffs and how i can apply them to everyday scenarios. Of course, satisfying the customers/client is always not easy. At the end of the day, there will always be this one or few customers that we dislike down and out. Give me a million dollors i still will not serve them. *just saying!*

Well, all i want to say is, i like the process of seeing myself grow and adapting my mindset along the way. However in the process, there are times it gets really hard. And during these times, i try to channel the trying emotions into different areas, so that i do not get depression. Haha.

All in all, just keep

Fighting! :)

Been awhile since im here.

A feeling came before i went to take a bath around an hr plus ago. Definitely was not the feeling that i desire, but still, will try working things out in my mind. The brain is a really complex device itself.

Shall upload some photos this weekend. I realised bringing a DSLR out is abit leceh, due to the weight. But up till now, the satisfaction of seeing some photos and the quality of the photos, where i really liked, beats whatever feelings that came beforehand. Adding on to that, i like the manipulation that comes before taking the shot. Some things can still be within our control :)

Up till now, i still find that writing is a pretty good therapy. Shall encourage myself to write more!

Been trying to find consistency in work. Felt that productivity went down. That sucks.

Lay Down

Am listening to Lay Down by Tay Kewei. I'm not a person who will listen to a song and go through the lyrics at the same time. I prefer to let the song bring me along as a whole. I like melodies which have a certain story, or rather emotion that can make me feel otherwise. Lay down was quite a sad tune to me as a whole. The emotions were running inside me as the song progressed.

Since a couple of years ago when i came to know of Tay Kewei this person through the media, i always liked how her voice and the song blend in as a whole. Last time, whenever i see her name being mentioned, it dwelled on me, "Oh, the person who was the backup vocals for Wang Lee Hom, David Tao, JJ Lin and etc."

Seeing her breakout as a solo artist was encouraging. It's never easy to pursue music in Singapore. Really wish to see her soar into greater heights be it in music and as a person! :)

感想

两天前被诊断有手足口症，有点不幸。接下来的五天不可以出门。
那天早上和妈妈看完了医生就去吃早餐。我们都吃酿豆腐。吃着吃着，妈妈说现在吃辣椒牙齿都会痛。她说人老了就是这样。

人老了，这三个字听起来令我寒酸。在她面前难掩我的悲伤，幸好没被看穿。

我渐渐成长，妈妈渐渐年纪也大了。每天我都在经历成长的考验和吸取经验。大多数时间都没和妈妈好好地吃一顿早餐。

人活着，真的要珍惜亲人。Because blood is thicker than water.

update!

school ended around a month ago so now i am back working full-time at Camwerkz, the place where i feel comfortable in be it the environment, people and everything. a few more days and im already there for a year. was thinking about how to progress onto another level in this environment to further improve myself. i find that if my knowledge in the work is stagnant, then i will find it hard to have consistency in the work i do.

back from taiwan two weeks ago. taiwan was great. headed to hualien for the first 3 days and taipei for the remaining days. weather in taipei was not that good compared to hualien. hualien was definitely cool and refreshing. however, taipei was much colder and it even rained on the last day in Ximending.

heading to Cambodia in a month's time. it sure will be vastly different from Taiwan. time to start reading up on materials related to Cambodia!

it really felt good to be back writing on this space :)

chill~

been long since i sat down in my school library and chill. nvm that it is more noisy than normal libraries. actually its a pretty chill place.

I don't know what to do with myself too.

I am letting social media get the better of me. This is not something i want. Having a hiatus off social media is really a good option for me.

In the end also cannot blame anyone. Stuffs can do early never do. Not as if i never try. I am still learning how to self-motivate myself. Translating my thoughts into actions sounds so easy but executing it is so hard. Whats wrong with me man?!

I can't believe i am having such a low morale moment right now.

Zzz.

after that incident, i vowed that i would never live my life for others agn.

或许我最错的决定，就是爱错了人。 本来就不应该开始。 没有后悔，只能继续往前看。

Talent?

I must admit, i really cannot get my mind through music composition. I really want to just compose a simple tune for today's problem but after a couple of bars, POOM, im stuck again. Its kind of a very sian feeling. I really wonder if i got no skill in understanding music theory, or i just simply can't be good at it.

There is nothing wrong in the module. In fact, it is fairly easy to score for this module. But some things so simple, require a bit of talent too. I would just say i really got no talent for music composition for now. I still await the day i can compose something simple and to my satisfaction.

Sometimes, we want to be that somebody with a certain quality. But if i really don't have what it takes, whats the next move?

Yeaps, even though it does not help me in completing my work today for this module. At least i felt slightly better. Just slightlyyy ...